First off, this chair:
I LOVE this chair! The colors..the pattern. Hello, gorgeous! Unfortunately, I have asthma and can't have any thickly upholstered furniture in the house. Sad! But if anyone in Nashville would like this chair and has the breathing capacity of a healthy person, it was recently spotted at the Habitat for Humanity store on 8th Avenue and it's only thirty five bucks. Let my lung function loss be your gain!
Also spotted at the same store:
Giant puppy photo collage! Kapow! I asked the Mister to stand next to it for scale. He's about 6'4" so let me assure you that this thing is huge. And no, your eyes don't deceive you - in the bottom shot, he's conducting business at a very fancy desk! That little dog is about to sign some checks! This is the kind of thing that I love and if I had a huge home, I'd probably have it on my wall right now. I absolutely adore it when people are so into their pets that they commit to them on a large scale. And by large scale, I mean this large. I kind of can't stop thinking about it actually. So, I'd better move on.
Today, I was checking my website stats. I like to see where you all come from and how you find Ranch Dressing. Of course, there are lots of hits from folks looking to make salad dressing. And though most of those are searching for a zesty dressing with buttermilk and herbs, today I had someone find the site by looking up "bull sperm in salad dressing". Yes, you heard me right.
All together now: Ewwwwwww!
And being the intrepid reporter that I am, I researched just that. For about one minute total. And in a round-about way, it exists. And we can just stop right there. Maybe it's time for a good distraction such as taking a peek at some of the other searches that brought readers here:
Guilty as charged! And yes, for those of you who are long-time readers , you know that it's time to shield your eyes.
Ha! Sorry...I never get tired of that one.
In a stroke of luck, something that I have might come in handy right now. It's a card that my friend, Amber gave me and I happen to have it right here next to my desk. Here's a little respite for your pretty heads in the form of things that are pleasant - and in no way will remind you of fifteen folks bumping sterns and bows in a small barrel full of tepid water:
Okay, enough dawdling. Back to the list!
Oh, bleh! That one is definitely a big 10-4 as cave crickets are one of my biggest fears. Did you know that they are completely blind so they have a heightened sense of danger? And that when feeling threatened, they don't jump away but AT you? AND get this - if they get trapped and have no food, they'll eat their own legs off !! Holy mother of....Shudder. Dear cave cricket researcher, I hope that you found what you were looking for before they ate your eye sockets clean.
Aww! So sweet! But unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that this person went away without any valuable information from me. I never went to prom and was most likely at home practicing the art of kissing the back of my hand or one of my Duran Duran posters. Sorry, lovelorn! If it's not too late and you're still here, I say just lay one on them. Though, don't slobber on your intended's face or in their nose.
That's a pretty good tip for most of life's big nerve-wracking moments actually. Don't over-think it. And don't leave slobber.
With that, I'll leave you with this edition of Bits and Pieces.
Until next time,
x's and o's,