Thursday, July 12, 2012

Water...Water Everywhere and Someone Fix Me A Drink

It is with great sadness that I have so much fun stuff to share with y'all about the Alaska trip (and some other things as well)  - but oh my cheese and crackers....life has taken over!

From recent posts, you may know that we were one small project away from having our entire home restoration completed. Three years of hard work and we had the hall and foyer to paint and then we'd have the whole shebang complete. And I even tempted fate by remarking that I couldn't believe that we were almost finally done. That's when a plumbing pipe went haywire and flooded under our hardwood. What a mess-o-rama.

Even still, we left town on our trip and tried to keep stiff upper lips. Convinced that everything was under control, we covered the holes where flooring used to be with plastic and tried to convince ourselves that our house smelling like a cave was somehow a fun twist. Why, we love cave tours! We were one gift shop short of denial.

A couple of days after returning from Alaska, we found out that we had worse problems. A pipe had also burst inside of our concrete foundation. Five days later, and several consultations with the pros and we're still not completely sure where the busted pipe is. Approximations tell us that part of our floor will definitely have to be jackhammered up. Oh yes, church. Our kitchen cabinets have to be removed and there might be some trenches dug in our kitchen, sunporch and our recently (finally) finished bathroom floor.  This is a major big deal. Trenches in the house. When the plumber mentioned ever-so-casually that the tub might need to be removed, I went into some kind of self preservation mode where I could only rock on my heels, clutch my ponytail and imagine showers at truck stops. "They usually have a Subway sandwich shop inside!" I reasoned to make myself feel better about my impending foot fungus after realizing that I don't own shower shoes.

We're trying to figure out if we'll be able to live here while this is happening. With four kitties and my asthmatic nature, it sounds like Hell on Earth. And don't even get me started on what a neat freak I am. Dust of any nature and specifically of the construction kind makes me crazier than a rat in a coffee can. I can go from docile to postal in the flip of a switch if I think that fine dust is in the air. I woke up around four this morning and started obsessively worrying about a bright blue porta-potty being installed in our yard.

Another twist is that though concrete slab foundations are very common in some places, they're not in Tennessee. People just don't encase their plumbing in concrete here. And they're quick to tell us so. Contractors and repair people look at us either with pity or that tell-tale gleam in their eyes that means they think they're about to be able to afford a Summer home.

That said, when I saw the following video shared this morning by two of my favorite buckaroos, Karen and Jon, I really needed it. Not only for the amazing fascinating wonderfulness that takes place after the one minute and fifteen second mark but because yes, we truly do "gotta get out of this place".




I hope that Jesus will understand because I am letting that joyous jump-suited rollerskating dude live in my heart too. 


As you can often tell, things here at the ranch aren't all sunshine, lollipops and rainbow skittles. I believe in telling it like it is and nothing is ever perfect. I'd feel like a sham reporting that it is. I'm still trying to remain cognizant of the fact that we're lucky to have a home when so many others don't have roofs over their heads. Life gets really hard sometimes and you wake up in a terrible, bad mood (sorry about that Mister Kitsch!) and well, you just want to drive to a donut shop and curl up under a booth, suckle a chocolate bear claw and never come out. Thus, for a while, I may be bringing you reports from the trenches for real, yo. We still love our little '56 ranch but right now, we feel like we should be forcing it to take a DNA test on the Maury Povich show.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

28 comments:

DearHelenHartman said...

YIKES!!! What a revoltin' development. Love your sense of humor through it all. We own a foundation and basement waterproofing company and I have to say that we wrap and cover everything we can when we jackhammer but dust does get everywhere because it can be fine as smoke. Hope everything gets set to right quickly. I want to hear those Alaska stories.

Dakota said...

Good gosh, that sounds like a nightmare, especially after all the hard work you've put in :( Fingers crossed that your beautiful home is back in shape soon!!!

Dana@Mid2Mod said...

What a heartbreaking turn of events! I can imagine how upset you are after putting in so much work getting your home just the way you want it.

Here's hoping the repairs can be done quickly, and you can be back in your home soon.

I'm about to have the tub and tile replaced in a 1 bathroom mid-century home, so I may be in the market for shower shoes myself. If you find a chain of truck stops that you can recommend, let me know.

SUZY8-TRACK said...

So sorry about all your plumbing woes! Glad to see you can have a sense of humor about the situation. Wishing your home a speedy recovery from this setback.

wacky tacky said...

You are an inspiration! I don't know how you could possibly find the time to be HILARIOUS when you are having to deal with this mess. We are sending good and wacky thoughts your way from California!!!

Tasha said...

UGH! I'd be crawled up in a ball in the corner. Good luck with everything, and thanks for sharing the bad with the good. Our lives aren't all peaches and roses. Let us know how it's going from the trenches...yak, I guess literally. :P

cheshirecat666 said...

GAWD. I don't even know what to say but BIG HUG.

sherree said...

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I love your blog and am encouraged that you can find humor in such a situation such as this :-)

Atomic Auntie said...

I'm so sorry you're going through all this! I have a concrete foundation myself and live in constant fear of the exact scenario you're dealing with. Hang in there! Will insurance cover most of it, I hope?

the wreath witch said...

my dear your life is like a series of Country Music songs.

lilynymph said...

Ack. My poor Eartha.

Trina44 said...

I'm with ya friend, owning a home can be one big pain in the butt. Two months after we bought our home our septic field died! We were without a working field for 3 months. First we washed with buckets and then my husband said f-it and actually put a sub-pump in the dookie hole and shot it into our yard every night so we could wash and flush the toilet. Needless to say, it did finally end and now we know we have a good system for the rest of our lives here.

Laura said...

Oh. Well. (pats on Eartha on the back). Honey, that just ain't fair.

As a person with her own personal and mighty ugly history with plumbing disasters, I have to say, well, crap. I'm so sorry.

If you were nearby I'd offer you the use of our shower, and I'd even get it super clean so you wouldn't have to buy fungus flip flops. And there'd probably be cookies too, though not in the shower. You sound like you need a cookie. Or twelve!

Sara In AZ said...

Girl, you know I am there for you! ***HUGS***

Rae - Say It Ain't So said...

oh my goodness what a nightmare. i hope it doesn't cost a mint to fix, and the contractors get their work done on time. ugh.

Miriam said...

I really really really feel for you, but I have to say, your ability to relate all this craptasticness while also making me laugh is truly inspiring. I look forward to mucking through the trenches with you, but even more so to the day when you can be comfortable in your ranch again! My thoughts are with you. Hang in there.

Sparkleneely said...

Oh my sweet Eartha! That sounds so horrible... Y'all are welcome here. How about you guys come to CA for a few months? We'll take you in!

In all seriousness, I am so sorry. But I am so glad that A. You got to go to Alaska and B. Gilla made you laugh.

Sending you SO MUCH love and support. Let me know if I can do anything! xoxoxo

Pat said...

Oh, so sorry! As another person with her own pipes-in-the-slab-tree roots-reaching-for-the-hall-toilet water story to tell, believe you me, I truly, madly, deeply sympathize with you and what you're thinking in the night. I hope the gawdawful worry lessens and you can get some sleep.

It will be over before you know it and will look great. You'll have fotos to look back on, and you won't believe it happened.

Keep your great sense of humor about it all. Best of luck!

Georgia said...

Hi Eartha,

I love your blog. I've been reading for a few months now and I'm so sorry to hear about your plumbing disasters!

That rollerskating rubber-legged dancin' man is amazing though!

Georgia

Lakota [Faith Hope and Charity Shopping] said...

Your poor thing, I guess it's proof that it absolutely never rains but it pours - although not usually under your foundations. Houses are worse than kids for the grey hairs! Hope the disruption is not too much, and remember, things could be worse, you could be married to Tom Cruise...

frecklewonder said...

OH, EK, say it ain't so!!!! This is a nightmare. Please tell me your home owners insurance is coming to the rescue!?????!!!!

Do we need to start a fund raiser for the Ranch?????

Seriously. Please let us know. I just keep thinking about real live trenches and I'm sick!

That video. The man on the roller skates. !!!

XOXOXOXO

Anonymous said...

All I can think of is Mr Bill saying "ooooooo nooooooooo!"

Poor you. Poor Mr. Kitsch. Poor little cats. Poor pink bathroom. Poor beautiful kitchen that I covet so much! Kate H.

Anonymous said...

All I can think of is Mr Bill saying "ooooooo nooooooooo!"

Poor you. Poor Mr. Kitsch. Poor little cats. Poor pink bathroom. Poor beautiful kitchen that I covet so much! Kate H.

Donna said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the ranch, but know that you're not alone. We have several large and small things here at the PA ranch that need fixing, but we just don't have the money right now. As my mom said the last time she was here, "Is there anything in your house that DOESN'T need to be fixed?!" (Thanks, Mom!)

I share everyone else's admiration of your chin-up attitude. You truly are inspiring. We're here for you. If you need anything, let us know.

nickarmadillo said...

I can feel your pain! From one unfortunate homeowner to another, I wish you good luck. We moved into our home less than a year ago and have had to replace the entire roof, redo the drywall, repaint, dig up and replace a broken pipe in the basement, fix a settling foundation, close up a foundation leak, get new gutters, and re-pour the driveway. This was on a supposedly completely rehabbed place too! Sometimes it just seems like lady luck has it out for you, doesn't it?

Come check us out at midcenturymidwest.blogspot.com

the wreath witch said...

can he - or you and Mr hang clear plastic in the doorways covering enough to block most of the dust = my ex did construction and that is what they did to keep the sawdust and construction mess in one area. even if he moves from one area to the next the plastic curtain taped or tacked up gives a view of what is going on and can be pulled aside to get to the next room . it's worth a try . Good luck dear .

Danielle said...

oh **NO**!! i am so so sorry dear friend!!! Keep us posted!! :*(

hourglass susie said...

Ouch, that is awful, but you're strong and will get through this. Good luck and hugs.